Gatsby on Ice

A Scene from Act One


GATSBY and TOM circle each other with their fists up. Both are wearing ice skates and Velour sweaters. DAISY, who is quite distressed, watches from the blue line. All at once, Gatsby and Tom begin to grapple. Gatsby manages to pull Tom’s sweater up over his head and starts to hammer away at his mid-section.

GATSBY: Do you know who you’re messing with? Do you know who you’re messing with? You’re messing with The Great Gatsby, pal!

DAISY: Stop! I’m begging you: Stop!!

Gatsby is lost in the moment. All he can see…is red! He straightens a woozy Tom up for the coup de grace, a big right hand to the jaw which sends Tom sliding, face-down, into the hockey net. As he crosses the goal line, the goal light lights up.

Before he can celebrate, Gatsby notices Daisy skating towards the penalty box. He hurries to catch her, but all at once he is blindsided by a Zamboni! Daisy sees the impact, which sends Gatsby’s crumpled form crashing into the boards.

DAISY (looking up at the scoreboard): NO! NOOOOO!!!

But it’s too late. Daisy has been driven insane. TWO ORDERLIES skate onto the ice and begin to lead Daisy off towards the locker room.

DAISY: I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

The lights fade until only a single spotlight remains, illuminating Gatsby’s prostrate form. The ORCHESTRA plays a funereal dirge until, suddenly, Gatsby’s leg twitches, once – twice. He’s still alive! A solitary piccolo trills in the distance.


One of Those Days

This is one of those days where I feel like a porcupine in a sewing circle. It’s nothing bad, it’s just…that’s just how it is (and that sewing circle reference, that’s a Midwest joke, by the way. If you’re from Delaware, you’re not going to get it). It’s tough starting a blog from scratch, because I haven’t blogged meaningfully in perhaps…a dozen years or so? That’s a long layoff. But it’s coming back to me. In fact, in the next day or two, I’m going to try to recreate a pair of blog posts which, in my mind, outlined either the best or worst idea of my whole life. It’s a big Broadway production – on ice. One which I have dubbed ‘Gatsby on Ice’. It’s an idea so awful, it’s amazing. A concept so fantastic, it’s wretched. Dualities. They’re always fun to explore.