Some time ago, I wrote a book I’m still happy with – Dark Glasses. Thanks to a friend of mine, that book is now available (for a limited time) free to Kindle Unlimited users. The place to go to grab that book is right about…here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B088P4V4YJ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=dark+glasses&qid=1589595322&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
Please do have a look! That’s Dark Glasses, by me, Dan Hendrickson. Free (or at least relatively cheaply) at a virtual bookstore near you.
If I could, I’d like to ruin a song for you. The song I’m going to ruin for you today is an oldie – Cutting Crew’s ‘(I just) Died in Your Arms (Tonight).’ The song goes, “Oh! I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something I said.” But I’VE always thought it would be better (or at least funnier) if it went like this: “Oh! I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something I ate. I should have walked away…”
I should have walked away. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOwHzCHfgA
Being me is a lot of work. However, it has a few benefits. Namely, I tend to have a surplus of ideas. I’m going to tell you about one of those ideas – a sequel idea for the Indiana Jones franchise – in just a moment. However, before I do, I’m going to tell you the drawback to having ideas like this. The biggest drawback? What to do with these ideas?
I mean, as you’ll see, I couldn’t charge a nickel for this idea and I would feel guilty if I did. Additionally, no one will want it, and no one else will know what to do with it. It’s my idea and I’m…I’m stuck with it. Without any further ado, I’ll tell you what the idea is. Oh, and I should tell you that the idea came to me while I was watching Raiders of the Lost Ark over the weekend.
The title of that movie made me think of another possible Indy sequel: Breathers of the Lost Fart. If anything, it would be a short, I suppose. Basically, it would show Indy and a fellow adventurer accessing a hidden chamber. Upon entering said chamber, Indy would sniff the air with a look of disgust and say, “Do you smell that?! Oh my God!!”
Breathers of the Lost Fart.
Sometimes when I’m in the mood for nonsense, I’ll say something like, “Logic is a four-letter word.” Then I’ll give whomever I’m talking to a look and add, imploringly (as though it’s obvious), “Think about it.” Then, with that being said, I’ll say I have to get going and head for home.
I’m always in the mood for nonsense.
I admire Beyoncé a great deal, but I think if I went to one of her concerts I would have to be treated for exhaustion by about the third song. She works so darn hard. It honestly…it exhausts me.
A lot of people like Dunkin Donuts. I prefer Spunky Donuts. I like my fried dough with a little bit of sass.
Sometimes a falling star lands on a trampoline. And then? Then you got real trouble.
It’s too bad they don’t have Sensodyne toothpaste for hearts. God help me, I think that almost makes sense. Any cardiac docs out there?
We have mice in our house. We would prefer that they weren’t here, but they don’t seem to care. Sometimes we set traps and when those traps are sprung, I pull on a pair of gloves to deal with the remains. I call those gloves ‘Rat Gloves’ – even though we have only ever caught mice with these traps (and it’s only a sporadic issue). The bottom line is, I sometimes use humor to deal with the wholesale pain of existence. It’s my go-to.
You know what phrase I really hate? ‘Big Sky.’ Size doesn’t matter. Say it with me. #SayItWithMe