How to be a Writer – Part Seven

You’re a writer now and, as a writer, you must prepare for the inevitable: that moment when you meet John Grisham himself, face to face; peer to peer. Though I’ve never met the man, meeting John Grisham…I’m guessing there’s nothing like it in the whole world. But you have to be ready for it. For, in fact, it’s not the moment you meet John Grisham. It’s the moment that John Grisham meets YOU.

When you see him, wherever you see him (and this will happen), look him square in the eye and turn up the charm to about an 11. Then smile real pretty, spread your arms wide and say, “Johnny Grisham, you gorgeous hunk of river meat! Get over here!!”

From there, after an uncomfortably long (for him) embrace, slap him on the back and say, “Hey, I hear you wrote a book called ‘The Firm.’ What’s that all about? Is it some kind of exercise book? If not, what is it about? Just know I don’t read paperbacks. But I’ll sure check to see if my local library has a copy in Hard Cover. If they don’t, I’m sure you have hundreds of unsold copies lying around. Could I just have one of those? Preferably a first-edition?” Before he can answer, squeeze his hand so hard it turns blue, pretend you see someone way more important than him and mutter, “Terrific. I’ll have my assistant get you my address.” Then give him a light clap on the shoulder and mutter, “See you later, Jack.”

And that’s it – you did it. You’ve met John Grisham. Was that so hard?

Published by Dan Hendrickson - Writer

A comic, screenwriter and poet, I grew up in Northwest Minnesota. Years later, I earned my MFA in Creative Writing from Hamline University in St. Paul. I've been a guest on KFAI’s Write On! Radio and Prairie Public Radio’s Main Street. I have a new book out called Comedy Album. If you wished to do so, you could buy it.

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